Saturday, January 26, 2008

Confused Mind !!!

I can drive yes I can, no it’s not a joke. I am already sore about missing my first chance, all because I had a stupid examiner who scared the shit out of me with her rapacious voice and my haphazard lane change policy which did me in.

So off I go, it’s raining cats and dogs here and driving is worse. With the weather forecast guaranteeing rain to come in torrents, I could rest my fat butt at home or else go out there and drive and learn. That’s precisely what I plan to do and hence I rented a car for the 3 days ….

Well to be honest, I have 2 many things on mind including a hard call I would have to take a few days from now, talking about which would warrant an all together different post. Maybe driving around like crazy a couple of days would probably make me forget the stage that is being set for me or perhaps make the thick skin that I am made of all the more thicker. Either ways something good to keep me occupied for sometime and yes adventure being my pet dog, the stunts I pull off makes the adrenalin flowing all the more...

So let me just drown myself in doing what i perceive as the RIGHT THING while god decides what next.. So much for keeping myself occupied !!!!

Sunday, January 20, 2008

All in a life !!!

In a life where you have lost and gained enough how does it feel when you think about someone you lost sometime back or even recently? My case has been quite different, initially it’s always been difficult for me to accept the fact that we are far apart and I would blame myself for the mess. Besides something I would rather not do unless required is to give up on someone especially when things go sour….

But apparently not many recognize this trait or approve of it which explains why I do have a fair share of people I have lost ostensibly perhaps because I held them too tight or perhaps they outgrew me faster !!!

But today when I look back at things I lost some DO hurt, but for most, I am just glad its over and had it still been on, it would have been platonic to say the least and perhaps just for keeps sake. So put it best I am glad it’s over….

Things were misled, misinterpret and misunderstood and that explained the importance of communication to me but yet at the end of it, sometimes I do wish we could go back to those good o'l days when things were at its best and we shared old tales of yore and the likes

I admit if there is something that still attracts me most about anyone it has to be their ability to communicate and to be heard and relate. Sometimes my gut feeling has let me down like some people I met via networking or social sites and some let me down after taking me to an all time high, but all said and done its an accepted part and parcel of everyday life and had I not experienced them all, my life and me in particular would never have been the same….

So guess what broken heart does not in any sense mean just a failed love or relationship, like all relations, friendship too is serious business and as usual the moment it breaks, it takes everything along with it, including the stability and composure of your heart..

Sometimes It’s not about time constraints or ego or any such hassles, if you feel like going its better to go with an open heart and a good talk.

Yet understand the fact that you would make friends in the most unusual of the places, still no one can replace even a single person who has entered your life. Because if they could in the first place, you would never be able to appreciate them in the same sense since they are like someone else you know. This explains why we have so many gods and goddess, none can replace either, they may substitute but NEVER replace another.

So tonight when I am so bored and I spent some time thinking about people I lost, I do want you guys to know, I did my best to make things work. And this post is my way of getting back to you and the good times we shared.

I hope you guys find happiness in whatever you do, The world is a small place and if we ever meet ( like my recent nemesis at Vegas) I wish we stop, share a smile, a handshake, wish each other well and move on

Hope this new year started off on a good note for you and here's wishing you all a great life ahead ….

God Bless you ALL !!!

The Avenger!!!

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

"hairy" tales !!!

foggy foggy tuesday morning, an overtly productive day, where i did almost everything that i assumed i will take a week to finish and finally an expensive haircut.

to begin with i initially contemplated growing my hair and really wanted to change my hairstyle. in that enthusiasm my entered the asian origin barber shop hoping i will find some answer there. The last time i went in the guy did a neat job and i was very pleased so its time for him to redo the magic i tgt.

unfortunately for me he was busy attending to another customer and his dutiful wife agreed to do it for me. There i sat all padded up ready for her to go snip snip snip.

I told her what i wanted and asked if she understood to which she nodded her head up down umpteen number of times

the result an awful hair cut. I was always worried about my receding hair line and with this cut i think i would need to point out where exactly does my hairline begin.

of course matters were confounded by my propensity to be fast asleep as soon as i set my heavy butt on the chair and now when i look at the haircut, i cant help but crib how unfair it can get.

it will really be sometime before the hair grows back and the long weekend i planned a drive to napa valley and thats screwed thanks to a hair cut that never should have happened.

maybe its a dream, maybe when i wake up tomorrow morning it would all have come up !!

Atleast this is one dream i really want to believe in.....

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

I Think !!

I think i am strange or at the most i am slowly on my path to be deemed a lunatic. what could be wrong you may ask? hell nothing is, its just the way i am which is why i said i am strange.

you see i am an outgoing person, talk to people easily, get alongs with all sorts and know how to hold my ground aganist anyone. which means dont try to push me, i will throw you back, dont try to molly cuddle me i will just snap back. just be ok, just be fine the kind i want you to be always and each day.

when i am patient, i can lead you to the edge, most often to the point of frustration by being nice and at times i may snap just like this and put you off.

I am not approachable. you met me first you may not want to see me more, but the more you see me the more you want to know what i think or what i feel (depends on person to person)

I can be observant and most often catch things that may have missed your eye, which is why when i recall dates or certain features of something like the modulated casing with the green lined battery compartment, or the reddness on your skin which tells me you used a hair remover, i get the "how did you know that?" look

At times all i do is ask questions and at times ( rarely) i answer questions. When i answer i will answer just to the point like a seasoned politician and always have a disclaimer ready "you can assume whatever you want, i am neither going to approve it nor deny it" and when i ask, i get my answers

When i am not reading a book or an article i can most often be found reading others, try to read their thoughts, observe animated expressions from people around and just stay put in my own comfort zone

but obviously not for long, people who know me always tend to observe when I go quiet and since my yakkety yak is the significant source of noise pollution around i guess i will be back in action sooner than i thought...

Monday, January 14, 2008

Yipeeeeeeee !!!

thats the phase i am in since the past few days. Guess why ? i am sticking to my new year resolution(s) and i have ample free time in office these days. Of course free time means its a cause for worry but then whatever is happening is not in my control so i am trying to make the best of it, however short it may be.

But it feels great, feels good to prance around like a small kid. Enjoy the weather, picture the storm that hit this part of the world in quick session and generally shudder at the very prospect of standing on the shore line watching those waves come crashing down, as if they are going to suck you right into them.

ever seen a stormy sea any one of you ? If you get a chance dont miss it, the very wave and rant followed by the dull hollow sound they produce will induce a frisson up your spine, an icy cold feeling that can really numb you. I bet you wont want to experience something like that ever again.

All said and done let me just enjoy the few moments of peace I have. It may be short lived, which is why its a must that i make the best of it :)

All you guys out there, i surely hope the new year started on a positive note !!!