Of wants and more !

Birthdays are coming up. I lost track of the time when birthdays mattered. I guess these days as the birthday nears, i get the jitters about being old and the miles i need to go before i get older :)

so i will be a year older soon. For now i am living the american dream which is being in debt. Don't get me wrong, having a home is a basic necessity for most people as well as mine. I reckoned, its better to garner some equity than live my life in apartments and get done with it. So i bought a house. Its a decent one, in a good locality, close to the metro and the works, but the pleasure is in looking around and realizing i live in my own house. Well its not mine as yet, for right now the bank owes it and will continue to do so for the next 10 years at least. I am a partial owner for now ...

Then i did the unthinkable and bought up another home in my parents home state of Kerala. I always wanted a home there, have always felt a oneness with that holy place so i was willing to take the plunge. Now i am paying through my nose to manage 2 places and if i lose my job, then i can eat the drywall for lunch and dinner if i choose to stay in US or cement and iron bars if i decide to head back to India. 

All of them came at a price. A price i was willing to pay and i am hoping my gamble pays off. If it doesnt, i will end up with egg on my face but more importantly i will ruin the finances and well being of my loved ones including my daughter. A terrible thought indeed which makes me determined to see the bright side if not anything else.

so i am headed to india, to finish off the paperwork for this place. Along with that i am scrapping my piggy bank, my accounts and other stuff to make up for the monetary costs associated with the purchase. In any case no sooner that the NRI (Never Returning Indian) lands, the sharks will be out in full force gnawing and snapping at every visible piece of you. Its as if money is given for free for us folks. I must say that also adds to be one of the prime reasons why working in india or living for that matter just seems so out of question. 

I hope i get a good interior designer to spruce up the place, make it look good. nothing flashy but easy, comfortable colors and interiors is what i am expecting. The costs are an deterring factor and i am not yet the NRI for whom being flashy just seems so the norm.

So wish me luck. In my haste to get over a childhood dream, i have put a lot at stake. I am ok for now just as long as i have a job. Besides its not a million dollar home that i would need to be indebted to anyone for a long time. That being said, i would need to curb this "get done with it" instinct. More than twice this year, i have ended up doing things which i tend to worry about later and this being one of the case.

i hope the gods continue to be merciful. I dont have much to ask anyways and i must say i am blessed. I have never had a problem, i could not face, never an issue i could not resolve, never a heartache i could not get over with and never a pain i couldnt live with. 

I have had the best of education,an easy childhood, a tough middle age and a promising old age. As i sit around and ponder about these blessings in my promised land i duly hope, i remain blessed and humble for every birth i become.