Sunday, April 20, 2008

Taken for Granted !!!

S says …

Need some help, can you pick me up from Hillsdale Caltrain …

What it means is …

I will land in the middle of the day, and you will need to sneak out from a meeting to drive 6 miles to and fro to do the needful

S says …

You got quarters…..

What it means is …

I am going to clean out the coin box of your car, so please add more quarters in to pay the toll …

S says ….

I am reaching home, please wait for me. Going to the cal train station is expensive …

What it mean is

My back soon will last anytime from 45-60 minutes. I don’t want to pay $$ for the taxi, and $$ for the Cal Train, when I can hitch a free ride to San José in your car …

S says ...

So what plans for the dinner??

What it means is

I am hungry, haul your ass up here from office and cook something, it’s already 8.00 pm and I am hungry

S says ...

I feel like having XYZ for dinner??

What it means is

Please make XYZ for Lunch/Dinner? We will share the costs !! I will add the pennies to make it even and you can drive all around town to find the ingredients. I believe "gas" (err Petrol ..) to drive the car comes free with my request and if not just add some water to make it run faster ..

I think being accommodative is a crime, especially since these kinda people for one

1. Spot me even in a crowd and

2. Tend to latch on and somehow suck the last piece of chivalry I have left…

which makes me wonder whatever happened to the “dominant” character ….???

Saturday, April 12, 2008

Names Literally !!!

For all my country men !!!

It’s amazing how English names turn out to be a laugh riot when taken the literal meaning in our local dialects.

Take for example …

People I work with

Ding Ding Mary Hou ( no that’s not a prayer to mother mary, it’s a person. But yet I admit it kinda resembles Jai Jai Shiv Shankar ……)

Maire Barber (Don’t ask a mallu ever what “maire” means, unless you are out on a suicide mission )

Pei Le Chong ( The classic pee ley chong in hindi)

People I talked to

Hai Yan Wu (How do I say a Hi to this guy, and even if I do would he understand?)

Mai Ki Tang (Are baba, lets not touch this area !! shiva shiva, karmam karmam !!!)

Jon Guu ( Now if we translate his last name in hindi, it would be so gross)

Velichadi Karun (The first name has a special significance in Malayalam tho)

And last but not the least someone I interviewed

Hang Bang Dang !!! (You know someone the trigger happy types when you read this name !!! )

No wonder, the last 2 days have been so very pleasant for me !!!

PS: This post is not to offend anyone or any country, caste etc etc. Readers are advised to take the post with a pinch of salt or better still as the ramblings of a demented mind, either ways it suits me just fine !!!

Wednesday, April 09, 2008

New ..Newer ..Foolish .. ME

And if all the heat in this part of the world was not enough, I went and did the same thing I am so famous for.

Hell no it wasn’t the beer that did me in, but if there is anything that puts me to sleep faster than the marathon meetings we have (yep 3 hour status meets) a time frame in which I can spill lock, stock and barrel my entire life story…

Notice how much I love the word marathon these days? Everything seems marathon of lately, the running, the status meet, the list of people who express interest in my profile, the bills, in fact everything is, except for the pay check, which probably may never be marathon size as my wants are something even the word “marathon” cannot quantify…

So coming to the point, I went in to get a hair cut and as usual my propensity to doze took over. With work that leaves me just enough time to catch a breath, sleeping as been easy as also the tendency to fall off the chair at the slightest time gap. All I do remember is telling the hair stylist I need a short hairdo and something that’s easy to manage and keep. The result, I look different but that surely has nothing to do with the hair cut, rather it has a lot to do with my trying real hard to fill in the gaps, if you know what I mean….

The positive side, the Dove hair gel that had gathered enough dust to be classified as a toxic chemical saw the light of the day and at present being put to good use. It will be a full month before I can heave a sigh of relief once again and in the mean time I sure hope no one notices and even if they do don’t comment on the new … newer .. foolish .. ME…

Tuesday, April 01, 2008

Adventures of a Demented Mind !!!

Statement 1: An average runner like me runs 2 miles, 3 days a week.

Statement 2: Running requires lot of stamina.

Conclusion: An average runner like me will have a tough time running 3 miles each day.

Statement 1: BEER makes you lose your inhibitions and ahem ahem many other things I am not sure of.

Statement 2: BEER gave me the stamina to run 7 miles or a mini marathon on a single day non stop.

Conclusion: Drink beer for stamina and definitely before a marathon race.

Warning: The statements above are made from personal experiences and hence the owner/author makes no guarantees implied, direct or otherwise. Readers are advised caution and large doses of common sense before acting on the advice.

Ohh btw I am not a regular drinker. I am not an irregular drinker either, I know my capacity and I know when to drink and how much and before whom. Best put I don’t like to drink, but the more I think of it especially my jaunts over this weekend, the more I realize, I don’t hate drinking.

Buttttttttt….. when you crawl out of the sleeping bag in the middle of the night in your pajamas because that freakin son of a gun “chinka” has left the heater at 78 deg and you run out of snacks, a barrel of beer seems inviting, very very inviting as I realized much later …

I think it’s good they don’t have gun control here. So now I have this incentive of buying a cheapo country type gun and just watch his head being blown off, call it a mistake and finally make him apologize on national television, by putting the country gun to good use….. it’s the beer I say ….

God save the queen err the king no it’s my house mate, or perhaps the land lord or his cat … ummm (tweaking the country gun) the list is growing …. ……