A Frenzy !!!

My life has moved, changed, rushed around at a rapid pace. Do I regret it NO I DON’T trust me I don’t, anticipation is a wrong word, I felt the initial rush, the throng of things the feeling that things are gonna change and yes it has …

The pace, the frenzy with which those changes came in, unbelievable, the day draped in new colors each promising a new beginning a new life a new taste and new adventure ….

Trouble is I don’t know if I am strong enough to bear it all. Life is like a freeway for me now, diving in through a ramp and exiting via a ramp, the pace, the lane the speed doesn’t matter I am just going in with the flow, which kinda seems fine for now but for how long ? it rather reeks of bad taste and character that you don’t know where and at what pace you headed !!!

It’s like being in a flood you know, because when a dam breaks and floods the low lands there are only 2 things that can happen, you either stand in the way of the flood, in which case the end result is quite known or you slide with the flow, not knowing where it would end. I practically have no clue which of this I should do right now, I may drop anchor sometime but right now I am with the flow...

In 2 weeks I will be out of this place, the cozy confines of something that was well known to me, to dive in headlong in a new role, a greater responsibility. I have no clue how my performance out there would be, but I have reasons to believe I have done my best when it comes to professional life and I am hoping the past success will shove me to better my performance each time.

And if all that was not a strong reason enough, I do know that I have enough obligations to post a quarter of my earnings each month in the coffers of those ever greedy banks and if nothing else I would depend on a lot of prayers and shrewdness to retain my position since my entire life would depend on it.

Its not the pace or the responsibility that’s worrisome, it’s the what if ? belief that’s taking me down at times and right now I am seeking a quick remedy to just chuck the bull shit out and redeem myself

Let the heavens be ever so merciful on me .... amen .....