Tuesday, May 01, 2007

To be an ASS or not to be ???

Today my friend and me parted ways. This person I WANT to call as my friend since I can’t recall any short comings during the short period that we were together. I admit we had our differences but somehow I never felt it would reach this stage when even communicating would become a problem.

Of course it hurts, primarily because I am yet to come to terms with the fact that even an odd message is a sign of interference. Thinking about the events of the past few days I just wanted to vent out my feelings and I did the mistake of calling my friend up......

I should have known the last thing that this person wants was to know is if I am still alive and kicking. Not that I wanted to but I unconsciously did which makes me feel awful at times and wonder if I am really bad as I am portrayed to be ?

Tell you what sometimes coming across as a person with lotsa feelings is equivalent to committing hara kirri since the only person losing out is you. How I wish I was a self conceited idiot and am able to leave my bag of emotions at home. Hoping someone understands is akin to asking for a favor and when the whole world conspires to do what you want, its just my fate that the ONLY person who should responds reads the heartache like a newspaper report and moves on as if its a routine one....

Maybe I should be really be an assole as in that case the one and the only thing that really matters would be ME, ME and only ME.

I would't mind if I am kicked on my behind for not making myself understood but giving up without even conferring me with a decent chance was like being dropped like a hot potato and somehow the reality is yet to sink in simply because I am eccentric but I am human and I exhibit all the emotions a normal human being has...

That's my feeling and I should have known my feelings at this point of time are like dirt & they can be swiped clean anytime it’s felt like.....

If only I was really understood ATLEAST once, maybe I am really worse, maybe I am not, maybe I should really leave my emotions behind as if not anything else they really make me feel so lost, dejected and of course hurt beyond repair :( ……......


Aaaaaaaaaah so much for being so considerate .........................

7 Comments:

At Friday, May 4, 2007 at 9:24:00 AM GMT+5:30, Blogger ancientmariner said...

miscommunication is a deterrent to any relationship..more so when people dont bother to clarify things..

may be coincidental but you seem to echo/share most of my thots/experiences in your posts....

 
At Saturday, May 5, 2007 at 7:38:00 PM GMT+5:30, Blogger Vidya said...

It is not worthwhile being an ass just to prove a point. The world is full of lots of different people.If you bump into someone who has hurt you (inadvertently or intentionally), learn from it and move on.There is no point beating yourself up over it!

It is not worth your time, energy and emotions.

 
At Saturday, May 5, 2007 at 8:00:00 PM GMT+5:30, Blogger The Avenger !!! said...

@ vidya /-

You bet it aint. Which is why I am moving on albeit a bit slow :)

thanks for the comment !!!

 
At Tuesday, May 8, 2007 at 4:11:00 PM GMT+5:30, Blogger Priya said...

Why did u delet eit. Give me some time ok. I will give a try too. Is that ok for you.

Put back the post avenger.

 
At Tuesday, May 8, 2007 at 4:14:00 PM GMT+5:30, Blogger deepthi vinod said...

aha brutal assualt that was on yourself there...sometimes it is best to vent out and scream behind a closed door or just snap and then smile the wicked one....will coemack for more...for now just get that thing out...dont burst on me for free,phukat advice :(

 
At Tuesday, May 8, 2007 at 4:33:00 PM GMT+5:30, Blogger The Avenger !!! said...

@ priya/-

hey pri no worries we can do a repeat post when you feel you are ready for it....

should have asked before tagging ya i guess hehehe...

 
At Tuesday, May 8, 2007 at 4:35:00 PM GMT+5:30, Blogger The Avenger !!! said...

@ deepthi /-

hey ya well you really think it was brutal do ya imagine how it must have felt at that point of time !!!

it happens and i am out of it, err well almost sounds better :)

 

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