Compliments and Me !!!
My friend paid me a compliment the other day “I can count on him when I need some help”. It was said looking right into my eye, I knew it was a compliment that came from the heart but I didn’t react.
As this person left our table she looked straight into the eye and said “That was supposed to be a compliment” I smiled and said “I know” to which her response was “You are supposed to say something”. I mumbled thanks!!! And that’s it, what followed as a comic act from her, wherein she raised her hands to the lord and let out a deep sigh……
Why am I so indifferent? I don’t know. I mean let’s just say compliments and me don’t go hand in hand. As far as my knowledge goes it’s always been like this. I have never responded even with thanks for a compliment someone pays unless it’s pointed out.
Let’s just go back to my teenage years when compliments were scarce and sarcasm in plenty. When insults, brick bats and he is a gone case were the only compliments I received and that too in plenty. A daily dose of these compliments filled my stomach to such an extent that even when someone would appreciate the good work I was forced to this that maybe its just to make me feel better.
Being born different, have an attitude and of course with a mindset that’s different yet not conventional was a taboo back in those days and I guess apart from my dad and bro no one appreciated or noticed the difference I could bring. In any case my family would not show me down even if I was worse than a jelly bean.
In a country and especially a society like ours, academics were everything and the rest of your talents were useless and waste of time. I don’t remember how I fought those people off but what I do remember was the faith some people had in plenty when it came to me.
Towards the later half, I obtained all that would be called the “High-Status” contraptions of life. An education to match from an Ivy League university, a great job, a not so obnoxious personality and what not, but the basic element was missing. An element of “trust” especially when someone tried to be sweet if not sugary.
Somehow a compliment given to me was just to make me do some work like older times and maybe that’s why I still don’t take any of them seriously. An occasional smirk and at times a genuine smile may come on my face but yet it will disappear as quickly as it comes.
Let’s just say I am yet to get over my element of mistrust and learn to appreciate a compliment for what it’s actually meant to be. Some have thought I am an despicable conceited idiot considering I don’t even appreciate a compliment but deep down it’s just a sense of despair.
A feeling bought about by my odious growing years and an incorrigible society framework, something that robbed me of this very simple pleasure in life of taking things at face value and moving on.
It’s up to us to break away these shackles and give our coming generation the confidence and self belief that life has more to it than just showing off and living a honorable life, one filled with hard work, focus and understanding is the only way to be really successful.
I promised myself that my siblings would never go through what I underwent irrespective of the fact if I survive that long or not …..
As this person left our table she looked straight into the eye and said “That was supposed to be a compliment” I smiled and said “I know” to which her response was “You are supposed to say something”. I mumbled thanks!!! And that’s it, what followed as a comic act from her, wherein she raised her hands to the lord and let out a deep sigh……
Why am I so indifferent? I don’t know. I mean let’s just say compliments and me don’t go hand in hand. As far as my knowledge goes it’s always been like this. I have never responded even with thanks for a compliment someone pays unless it’s pointed out.
Let’s just go back to my teenage years when compliments were scarce and sarcasm in plenty. When insults, brick bats and he is a gone case were the only compliments I received and that too in plenty. A daily dose of these compliments filled my stomach to such an extent that even when someone would appreciate the good work I was forced to this that maybe its just to make me feel better.
Being born different, have an attitude and of course with a mindset that’s different yet not conventional was a taboo back in those days and I guess apart from my dad and bro no one appreciated or noticed the difference I could bring. In any case my family would not show me down even if I was worse than a jelly bean.
In a country and especially a society like ours, academics were everything and the rest of your talents were useless and waste of time. I don’t remember how I fought those people off but what I do remember was the faith some people had in plenty when it came to me.
Towards the later half, I obtained all that would be called the “High-Status” contraptions of life. An education to match from an Ivy League university, a great job, a not so obnoxious personality and what not, but the basic element was missing. An element of “trust” especially when someone tried to be sweet if not sugary.
Somehow a compliment given to me was just to make me do some work like older times and maybe that’s why I still don’t take any of them seriously. An occasional smirk and at times a genuine smile may come on my face but yet it will disappear as quickly as it comes.
Let’s just say I am yet to get over my element of mistrust and learn to appreciate a compliment for what it’s actually meant to be. Some have thought I am an despicable conceited idiot considering I don’t even appreciate a compliment but deep down it’s just a sense of despair.
A feeling bought about by my odious growing years and an incorrigible society framework, something that robbed me of this very simple pleasure in life of taking things at face value and moving on.
It’s up to us to break away these shackles and give our coming generation the confidence and self belief that life has more to it than just showing off and living a honorable life, one filled with hard work, focus and understanding is the only way to be really successful.
I promised myself that my siblings would never go through what I underwent irrespective of the fact if I survive that long or not …..
A living example I call “Dad” will in any case ensure I keep my part of the promise.
posted by The Avenger !!! @ 5:28 PM
2 comments
2 Comments:
that makes two indifferent souls :D *high five*
..p..
tee hee hee way to go pri :), but sometimes dont you feel a bit awkward that you are not able to appreciate a comment in the true sense ?
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