Sunday, January 07, 2007

About Impressions and expressions !!!

A continuation of my earlier post on impressions

I read one book Malcolm Gladwell’s Blink which talks about the same. In fact to be honest although I felt the book didn’t do much of a talking apart from the ones we keep getting as unwanted gifts but some aspects of it enamored me.

I had to admit that the guy really made sense in certain aspects of human relations. The trouble with me being I can never read a book twice however good it is and I usually skim through books and stay focused on one that interests me.

Similar to an analogy that was explained in that book, when someone recommends me a book, I look at its title, if that impresses me I move on, if it’s about an area I am unfamiliar with I show less interest in reading it. Same was the case with Malcolm Gladwell’s book “Blink”, I wasn’t interested at first, preferring to read it when I didn’t have nothing better to do (lately I am in that stage), while traveling etc but I found that I could certainly relate to certain aspects of that book.

The subtlety with which he talks about the initial few moments of an interaction was superb. I was left wondering how analogous to what he discussed I would always predict 4-5 questions that were bound to come during an exam. I remember how I could sense which customer is going to call us back during a fund raising campaign. Lastly how I predicted the appearance of an applicant well before he came for an interview, just by observing his language, choice of grammar and writing style.

I skimmed through the book omitting things that didn’t interest me and finally finished it and locked it away. At the end I was left wondering about its contents and I realized a couple of things
  • I am still pessimistic when I began a task but optimistic once I get some initial success.
  • I don’t demand rather I try and suit the demand I perceive. I guess I am doing fine as I have a fair share of my own success stories.
  • I am still NOT approachable. I am friendly but have a reserved nature
  • I play fair. I don’t judge till I give the person a fair chance.
  • My impressions are paramount in developing my relationships. I rarely take pains if I feel the person is not worth the attention.
Looking back I now realize how certain relations and people have worked for me in the past. Take for example my friends. I have realized that even at this age, I just have a handful of them who are close to me. Most of them are very different from me. Simply speaking our outlook, dress sense, humor or even desires don’t match. Most of the time the arguments are related to these not so common traits but they never seem to have longevity in our relation.

We have been critical of each other, but all said and done, we have never doubted even for a second our sincerity towards each other. Even if I choose to remain silent, they understand the silence behind it and not make an issue. For them to support me and me to do the same we don’t need to request rather there is an inbuilt trigger that makes them drop in when required. Above all I find sense of purpose, security and understanding in our bond and have forged the same.

I guess what I am now, what I will be in future are all based on split second decisions. In many ways they are the foundations on which I have built myself, on which I hope to build a strong future. Each issue in all has been a learning experience and yet I sometimes wonder why I am not able to harness this great power to its true advantage.

Summing up, I assume some things work best in short bursts. How much of information you imbibe is a personal factor and how you act on the information a still limited one.

Simply speaking I believe when faced with an issue most of us will take a split second decision and THAT would shape the next round of action (which is very much the essence of the book :) ) …………………


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