Trial by Fire !!!

What is it that you want from life ? Well I am pretty sure everyone is faced with this question at some point in life. Before you guys throttle me hey! hey! hey! hang on, I am not joining the ranks of those fraud swamis and sanyasin’s, rather I am trying to figure out what exactly my wants are albeit in an subtle manner!!!

I have had my share of dreams and some are yet to be fulfilled. But honestly speaking everything has been taken care of at the PERFECT time. Now that my wish list is diminishing, I am wondering whether I was right in demanding it in the first place.

There have been many cases wherein I have demanded things to go my way. Fortunately for me somehow the whole world conspired and let me have my way. BUT once I got what I wanted I found that the sheen no longer existed. Suddenly everything seems to be humdrum and would make me feel “did I ask for too much”. Honestly speaking I would not even understand why I asked for it in the first place.

So here is my story. I have ALMOST everything I asked for and for the rest that I feel are my wants those things are on the way. BUT I am yet to figure out why I am demanding, looking around for more, reaching out before time etc.

Nope its not that I don’t see the silver lining, I do in most of the cases but FACT is I see if when I want to and what I want to do is “SEE IT EVERYTIME”.

Why is it so difficult for me to accept that I am not the lone warrior and things happen for the best? Why at the end of the day I still regret not reaching where I intended to and why in spite of our best efforts sometimes you just can’t control the way things go….

As I try and seek the answers for this and in the process know more about what I want from life I forget “HE” has a funny way of revealing answers at his own pace and time.

I see just as I thought, HE IS HELL BENT ON DEFEATING ME EVERY SINGLE DAY !!!