Saturday, June 10, 2006

My Life So Far !!!!

My Life So Far ………..

I was asked to comment on the choice of a career by my cousin who has joined an IT major. In his own words, in the past 3 months he has worked on 3 programming languages, 2 domains and finally ended up with a tech support job profile at the moment.

In between moments of increasing frustration and demands of calling it quits from his inner self, he is morally trying to do the right thing and thus the effort to resolve problems and issues that typically arise in support projects.

So he asked me for advice, well I am no guru in these things myself but since I had to answer I asked him to give me some time before I think about this and answer. My dead line ends tomorrow and post evening I will have to come up with my comments. For the benefit of my readers let me take them through a journey of my life as I try and formulate an answer to his question about CAREER…….

My career choices have been widely influenced first by the media and then my outlooks or perspectives and finally my parents and my brother. To begin with in the initial days I just wanted to be a policeman. That is till about 8th grade I was determined to be a policeman, roughing up the goons and ruling the place like a medieval knight. But then the image of a policeman took a severe beating. No longer would I sense any glamour in my choice of career. All I could see were corrupt cops who needed to be eliminated and thus I turned increasingly radical, rather eccentric a naxalite in a sense.

I loved the sea, I still do and tried desperately to get into sea cadet corps since I loved the white uniform and the thrill of venturing out in the sea. So I decided a Naval Officer I would be!! Yes sir, I am going to be an officer for the rest of my life. I would attend each naval cadet corps selection process and invariably I would lose out since either I was overage or before I made it enough candidates were already selected.

Then came in 12th grade and my interest in automobiles and mechanics grew, and I decided to pursue mechanical engineering. However in between fighting to enter the NCC, bird watching
:-) , mechanics and mathematics my understanding of the later two improved to such an extent that I had the unique distinction of making it to the attendance blacklist of every department in my college.

Small wonder that when the 12th grade results came, I made a startling discovery. Leave alone the armed forces, even if the road side tea stall gives me a job, I should consider it to be an act of appeasement due to good done in my earlier birth or the best wishes of my parents.

The saga continued, my trivial pursuits were in full force and I vacillated between swings of extreme madness to bouts of shame and guilty feelings. It took me a full 3 years to recover by which time I had effectively sealed my fate. Simply put I had driven the last nail into my coffin and there was no chance of revival.

Like an angel something happened. I sensed a hand, a show of support and the soothing voice of an angel which told me that all is not lost as yet. Perhaps if I can still make an attempt I could undo some of the damage at least. I rose from my deep slumber determined not to let my angel down. For the next 2 years I worked and worked real hard. I did well academically and proved my worth by topping the university. However my jinx was not eliminated and once again I lost a chance to study at a top university abroad on account of visa rejection. I was devastated. I had struggled to make it and God put me back to square one again. Here I was about to go abroad on a scholarship and I was rejected when I went for a visa?? How unfair can life get!!!

The journey back home from the consulate was the longest one and in between bouts of depression and endless silent tears I was scared. Scared for my career, my life and the aspirations my loved ones had which I had turned to “lead”. At about this time as if a miracle I heard this song , and in that a particular paragraph kept repeating in my mind ….

She said, "Son there'll be times when the tides are high
And the boat may be rocky, you can cry, Just never give up
You can never give up," uh-uh

In this life you could lead if you only believe
And in order to achieve what you need
You can never give up, You can never give up

And this hope,That keep me holding on
On and on, And this hope
That makes me carry on, On and on

A song sung by Shaggy titled “HOPE”. I reached home, took one look at the forlorn faces of my dad and mom and promised myself that I would never let them go through this again. I announced I will find a way out and walked away eager to be with myself away from prying eyes and disappointed faces.

Towards evening when I returned home the mood was still somber. I checked my email and I had 5 unread messages all from my brother who is undoubtedly my friend, my guru, and my guide. In it was a line which I still hold close to my heart and which cemented my decision to make it through come what may. (Unfortunately for the readers I can’t share that line it’s private and very very close to my heart!!!).

In 2 months I was off to UK to do my Masters in Telecom and information systems, once again a top rated university. It was hard work and I struggled to make it through the DSP paper but when I wrote the final paper, I knew I am a MS now and I will pass with good marks. On July the 10th 2003, I received a rolled sheet which is still one of my prized possessions.

As I took center stage for this major event, my heart was filled with gratitude for people who never gave up on me and who in the real sense should have been there to see their dream turn to reality …………….

For starters I had grown up, and the blow prior to coming to UK had only strengthened my resolve and my determination that I from now on will never ever show them down come what may. Till this day and as long as I live I will bloody well ensure that I keep this promise.

Finally with respect to my career, what am I doing now?? Well basically I am just a factotum for an IT major. I do anything and everything of what is asked and I do it with interest and zeal since it contributes to my kitty of skills. Honestly speaking this is one firm which I am proud to be associated with and for me working for this firm is a matter of pride and honor rather than monetary gains or showing off.

As for what I want to do in life and where is my career headed? Well I have no clue honestly speaking. So simply put what would be my answer to my cousin. Do whatever you are asked to do and you can with all your zeal and eagerness, show the enthusiasm and the desire to set it right the first time, the right time and sooner or later things will fall in place.

As for me I am still seeking what I would exactly want to do working on the technical side of things, so if in my twenties I cant figure out where I am headed, I don’t see any reason why he who is in his early 20’s be so worried about.

Like Shaggy rightly sang ….

She said, "Son there'll be times when the tides are high
And the boat may be rocky, you can cry, Just never give up
You can never give up," uh-uh

In this life you could lead if you only believe
And in order to achieve what you need
You can never give up, You can never give up

And this hope,That keep me holding on
On and on, And this hope
That makes me carry on, On and on


At Monday, June 12, 2006 at 9:46:00 PM GMT+5:30, Blogger rebel_on_loose said...

Hey that ws quite an introspective and thought-provoking post indeed....

I loved these lines...

"In this life you could lead if you only believe
And in order to achieve what you need
You can never give up, You can never give up

And this hope,That keep me holding on
On and on, And this hope
That makes me carry on, On and on "

Do check out a post i wrote last year in which i pondered over some similat thoughts....

The Complete Man ?

At Thursday, June 15, 2006 at 3:55:00 PM GMT+5:30, Blogger Suresh said...

Interesting thoughts. Something that most(??) of us go through in our lives.
Very few people actually get to do what they want. The rest just take the 'safe' path treaded by their seniors/elders.

I think one should love the job/career he is into...and that is something that is very tough to find. Some people find it in the first hit...some find it after some struggle....and to the rest the search goes on....

First time in your blog. found you through Chitraaz.

Great Post :)

At Thursday, June 15, 2006 at 9:22:00 PM GMT+5:30, Blogger The Avenger !!! said...

@ suresh /-

suresh thanks for your comments. I am yet to understand what "most(??)" means tho.

Perhaps you can help !!!

At Friday, June 16, 2006 at 12:52:00 AM GMT+5:30, Blogger Enigma said...

hey thnks for the comments btw wht does ur new blog name stand for

At Friday, June 16, 2006 at 9:34:00 AM GMT+5:30, Blogger Suresh said...

I was always under the impression that it's only me who's in such a situation and by "most(??)" i meant to ask if there are/were others too... :)

At Friday, June 16, 2006 at 10:45:00 PM GMT+5:30, Anonymous Anonymous said...

One thing I can say for sure after reading the post is that you are a person with right attitude towards life and career.
I respect your thoughts.
Loved reading it:)

At Saturday, June 17, 2006 at 11:38:00 PM GMT+5:30, Blogger The Avenger !!! said...

@/- suresh /-

Trust me on this, we always assume that our problem is the greatest, but sooner or later it comes out that we just had a scratch but others have a still deeper contusion's !!!

At Saturday, June 17, 2006 at 11:41:00 PM GMT+5:30, Blogger The Avenger !!! said...

@lakshmi /-

thanks lakshmi for stopping by.

I appreciate the time you took to comment.

On the other side, the change was not overnight as you can see, it came in gradually and I am glad it came!!

At Saturday, June 17, 2006 at 11:43:00 PM GMT+5:30, Blogger The Avenger !!! said...

@enigma /-

Well i just saw X-Men-3,and I just love the character Wolverine and hence the change of name.

Hopefully next week it will be "Cold Play". You should listen to their songs, pretty good i must say :-)

At Tuesday, July 4, 2006 at 9:03:00 AM GMT+5:30, Blogger Kirthi said...

I do not know whether you have read 'Karma Yoga' by Swami Vivekananda but this line
'Do whatever you are asked to do and you can with all your zeal and eagerness' forms the gist of that book.
Like lakshmi said you have a great attitude and spirit.

At Wednesday, July 5, 2006 at 12:45:00 PM GMT+5:30, Blogger The Avenger !!! said...

@ kirthi /-

No yaar, I havent read any god men book as such. Somehow never had the inclination actually.

Those were some of the lines my dad would keep telling all of us esp when I would say i dnt like to do this work tht work and so on ...

hehehe. thanks for the comment, keep visiting !!!

At Saturday, July 22, 2006 at 2:17:00 AM GMT+5:30, Blogger KK said...

Honest post. Its unusually rare for me to find a post that keeps me interested till the last line. So, I dont need my penny refunded for the thoughts. ;=)


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