Whats wrong !! What gives !!

For want of something better to post, I decided to write about what’s happening of lately in my life.

This is the "ship jumping" month and my best friends have left my firm for greener pastures i.e. read monies, promotion, perks, exposure etc. Not that I don’t plan to quit, but I would rather hang on for some more time. I am waiting for a particular exposure that would come by September or so, so till that time I have no choice but to see my friends leave one after the other. All said and done, I am very happy for them no doubt.

Meetings, discussions and knowledge transfer are the other happenings. With my colleagues going onsite we need to ramp up to take over their work. With a paternity leave for 6 months in the offing by a colleague, 2 guys going on site’s for 3 months, a email server (since he only sends out emails to higher up’s) who also doubles as module lead, an overseer technical lead (he gives orders), and finally marriage leave by another, almost 50% of the team is disposed albeit in their own way.

As for us who cares!! You need a scapegoat, here we come (3 of us). I will let the readers take their shots as to how much of work is bearable for 3 of us amongst an 11 member team. Nothing new in any case. People don’t care about how much pressure’s or bottlenecks we go through, all they can see is the money software guys make.

At the end of the day what good is the money that comes in at the cost of peace of mind? Would others please understand that we are paid high to do difficult work (most of the time!!) and if it was so easy then even farmers could be techies ( Reminder: One of those well known politicians wanted an IT major to grant jobs to farmers btw since IT companies have been alloted their farm land by these very same politicos).

Coming to the point, my relations have been deteriorating and I have found myself both at the receiving / giving end numerous times. Maybe this is related to what’s happening lately at work maybe not or perhaps it has got to do with my attitude? maybe suddenly i am quite boring, familiar or perhaps obnoxious buffoon who needs to be treated like this.

Whatever be the case I suddenly had 2 of my very good friends who don’t even get time to wave a simple Hi! No instant messenger messages, no phone calls, no emails nothing. To top it all I can’t even seem to find what’s wrong. I mean we didn’t have any arguments, disagreements or for that matter anything of the negative sort.

Initially I thought maybe it’s the work pressure or perhaps they are not in a mood, but honestly it’s been a full 2 weeks since we spoke like we used to before. If our eyes meet its just a simple Howdy and a smile. Maybe I am just feeling it, maybe it’s true we really have grown apart both as friends and as colleagues.

I tried discussing it with them, but it was always brushed aside as nothing da, nothing like that I am just busy and all that crap!!. If it’s really true how come we don’t get time like we used to earlier and just about how is it that when I feel there is some change, the other person is far far too obvious to the change?

I guess my paranoia is now spilling over to my personal life as well. Maybe I should just try and be a loner just like I was previously and take all this at face value. I am pretty sure if I see this pretence of “Everything All right” a little more time, I would explode.

So that’s it. This has been a very trying month and will continue to be so till early July at least. If I can handle the tenuous threads that holds my relations work or otherwise I guess it will be worth the battle.

To summarize how I feel here is a song I just heard over the radio …

Aaina mujhse meri

Pehli si surrat maange

Mere aapne mujhse ….

Aapne hone ki nishaani maange …..